I started this journey almost four months ago, and here I am on Marathon Eve...tomorrow it is Finish Line or bust. It's hard to sit back and reflect on the days and months it took me to get here. I don't have the emotion that I thought I would...instead my stomach churns constantly and the anxiety of "what if I fail" looms over my head. Don't get me wrong, I will finish this race. I just hope I finish it with the grace and strength that I expect from myself. I think about the miles that I've racked up over the last few months...what a long road it took for me to get here! I had more thought-provoking moments, more sunrises, sunsets, more encounters with nature and strangers, more run-ins with my own ghosts than I had planned. It's funny what you take away from solitude...which I admittedly don't experience much anymore. But when I'm quiet and I let my mind drift, it takes me down so many different paths...I thought about the past...family...friends both here and lost...my grandfather...my darker years of youth...my beautiful children...what spirituality means to me...my story, my fight, my hopes...all of these things and many more wandered in and out of my heart. Some days were blind running. Some I spent lost in my own soul. Even more were experienced with hope and gratitude for every blessing I have..for humility, forgiveness and dreams of the future. So I suppose in a way my "marathon" began quite some time ago...tomorrow will simply be the chance to prove I can see it through. And to show off my hot pink shoes. ;)
I came across this song one day on an app for my phone. I had not heard it before and it soon became my end-of-run tune. If there was ever an answer to the meaning of life, it would be understood in the words of this song..."We are how we treat each other, and nothing more".
Nothing More by The Alternate Routes:
Proud of you! Are you a runner addict now or is this the end of the road? ;)
ReplyDeleteThat is a perfect way to describe your marathon. It is much more than running a race. I hope you continue to find solitude in all your future adventures.
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